You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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