There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
