I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
