after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
this will be a night to untag.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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