at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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