the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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