I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
