He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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