i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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