i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Boobs speak an international language.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
