4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize