is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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