What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
