Can Purell be used as lube?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
