Porn is love you can see.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
