I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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