You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
