But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
