we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
