dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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