Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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