awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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