So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
