i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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