We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Small penises have feelings too.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
