You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
