My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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