Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
