I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
