This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
