I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
operation have a gay friend backfired
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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