They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
