I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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