you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
