I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
