At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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