to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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