i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize