I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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