The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
