It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
