I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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