Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
