At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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