You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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