u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
