I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My pussy is not your playground.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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