That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
