Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We need a shit load of segways right now
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
