Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
