Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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