No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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