this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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