I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
where are my eyebrows?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
