I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize