She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
