Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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