Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize