Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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