Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
