Already got asked if we're dating
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
