Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
