you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
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