so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
