so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
