it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I want to be your penis for a week.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
