entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
