I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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