evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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