Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
