my being single is dangerous.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
