found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
