id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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