oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
