Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
