if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
